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Early Year End Thoughts

Where has this year gone? I know I could look back on posts that I have made to this blog, particularly during the first half of the year when I was making a post every day, but that wouldn't completely fill the gaps. It is the compression of time that bothers me the most. Every day almost goes by at the same pace, but the weeks and months are getting lost in a blur. Maybe it's my thirtieth birthday that is coming up soon that causes me to ponder this moment more than others.

My pessimism says that as much that has happened in this last year, much more has not happened. While some of what didn't happen was a direct result of what I chose not to have happen, much more was laziness. Am I wasting away the best years of my life or am I enjoying them. Best can have so many different connotations. Are these my best productive years when I could be creating something that changes the world or are these years the ones that I can have the best fun? I'm not sure how I would define best.

What I do know is that I feel best when I've accomplished something. At times it is a simple thing like racking the back yard. Other times it is sorting through old files and throwing out the junk. Funny that the examples that come to mind first revolve around controlling my environment and entropy reduction. I do get that same sense of accomplishment when I've created something, but that comes much less often since inspiration doesn't hit often, while there is almost always cleaning to do in one form or another.

This discussion seems to have focused on work instead of enjoyment. This year has included many hours spent in enjoyment. While those were relaxing and often times very needed, that sense of accomplishment does not accompany them. Maybe it is time to find and dust off an old book that I have lying around called, if I remember correctly, The Acorn Principle. It was a self-help book I picked up based on a review back when I was nearing graduation from college and trying to find my way into the "adult" world.

Tags: life